Wall To Wall Ikea Monkey Coverage

I want to make sure everyone is all up on their Ikea Monkey coverage. Here’s some background on Darwin, the Ikea Monkey:

Darwin grew up in a strong musical background. As a young monkey he was a backgound singer for Oasis. Here is his pic taken after Liam Gallagher gave him his coat as payment for helping out in “Wonderwall”

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Shortly after success with Oasis, Darwin tried his hand on the pop charts with the group Bloodhound Gang. Here’s a still from The Bad Touch:

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Some other artists were unhappy with his success and sense of high fashion. Kanye West interrupted Darwin’s acceptance speech saying “Imma let you finish buying your stuff at Ikea, but…..”

Kanye started mimicing Darwin’s fashion as well.

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Darwin gained friends but also foes while in thr music biz. In fact it is rumoured that all the press Mr. IkeaMonkey was making others jealous. Here is the Weather Dog interrupting Leslie Roberts discussing Darwin’s latest single which just passed Curious George as the #1 monkey hit.

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In fact, other aniamals may have been involved in setting Darwin up to be captured. Here is a cat who we interviewed that refused to comment further, calling him Carl.

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Now under capture, its time to bring Darwin back home to keep making hits. Support the Free Darwin movement!!

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Epic Fail Watch In Full Effect in Colorado Canyon

This guy is about to get pwned by mother nature. Darwin has full coverage.

DENVER – A daredevil hopes to propel himself across a southern Colorado canyon using a jet pack powered by hydrogen peroxide.

Eric Scott tells the Rocky Mountain News he’s never travelled as far as he wants to Monday – 457 metres.

The Royal Gorge is more than 335 metres deep.

A bridge spanning it was the site of a deadly stunt in 2003 when a parachute jumper miscalculated and fell.

Scott works for Denver-based Jet P.I. The company developed a jet pack for stunts and promotions that is based on one developed in the 1960s for the military.

The original one could fly for only about 20 seconds.

The new one can go for more than 30 seconds at faster than 113 kilometres an hour.

Man Dies During Cake eating Contest

An inquest is to be held on a man who died during a contest to see who could eat the most fairy cakes.

The man, thought to be from Birmingham, collapsed at a Swansea nightclub during the event at the end of a party to raise funds for an art exhibition.

Police say there are no suspicious circumstances following the incident at the city’s Monkey Cafe and Bar early on Friday.

The coroner has been informed and the family have been told.

It is believed attempts were made by staff and customers at the nightclub to revive the man.

In a statement, club owners Amanda Davey and Paul Dyke said: “We are all devastated by this tragic accident.

“We are all in shock.

“It was a tragic accident and very sad and should serve as a cautionary tale.

“Our deepest sympathy goes out to his family.”

A South Wales Police spokesman said: “There are no suspicious circumstances and a file is being prepared for the coroner.”

Genzel note: “El Oh El, Fairy Cakes.”